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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23669374">Why Are You My Clarity?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EchoesofMemory/pseuds/EchoesofMemory'>EchoesofMemory</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Zombies Run!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Agender!Runner Five, Alternate Universe - Sentinels &amp; Guides, Guide!Sam Yao, Misunderstandings, Other, Relationship Discussions, Sentinel!Runner Five, Sentinel/Guide, Spoilers for 5k Training Missions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:02:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,530</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23669374</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EchoesofMemory/pseuds/EchoesofMemory</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sentinels and Guides had to adapt to the apocalypse like everyone else.</p><p>Everyone knows that, and more Sentinels and Guides came online in the early days than ever before.</p><p>What's going on with Five...?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Runner Five &amp; Everyone, Runner Five/Sam Yao, Sam Yao &amp; Everyone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Begin(nings)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Song is from Clarity, by Zedd.</p><p>I love Sentinel/Guide AUs. Like straight up adore them, especially the well written ones.</p><p>And the ZR fandom doesn't have any!!!!</p><p>For shame.</p><p>(I had to fix it.)</p><p>As always, my runner Five is agender, and uses ey/eir/em pronouns.</p><p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><i>Sentinels</i>, the newly christened Runner Five brooded as ey ran towards a hospital, <i>had to adapt to the apocalypse in terrifying ways.</i></p><p>It was true, Before, that Sentinels and Guides were revered. Many people (including evangelicals) thought them outdated and primitive, not to mention the sheer horror of <i>same sex pairs</i>. (Nevermind studies showing that pairings followed the breakdowns of society, and a pairing of someone who was straight and someone who wasn’t was never sexual.) You could find Sentinels and Guides working as police and military, traditional protector roles, but there were pairs working in foster care, as child advocates, as bodyguards and therapists. Some Guides became linguists, with their Sentinels serving as aides and protectors, while some Sentinels went on Peace Corps missions, using their enhancements to help people in third world countries, while their Guides went as teachers (for mundane matters, and also for emerging Sentinels and Guides who wouldn’t get knowledge otherwise).</p><p>But then the world ended. Many Sentinels were lost in the outbreak, first in England, then around the world, as they stood to fight against the undead, giving many valuable time to escape, though it seemed a lot of it was in vain. As they fell, their Guides stepped up, suicidal over the loss of their Sentinels, to give those fleeing a little bit more time. There was no one to stop either, as the government fell into disarray and fractured.</p><p>Sentinels became more important, and also more of a liability – they were faster, stronger, could go longer and were able to hear and smell the zoms long before they were seen by others, but any and all of this could send them into a zone, a sensory fugue that left them frozen and vulnerable.</p><p>Guides, on the other hand, were considered less important – a Sentinel would be focused on protecting any Guide, and wouldn’t leave them alone in the field, meaning the pair could only go as fast as the Guide could manage, and a Guide getting hurt or, worse, bitten sent a Sentinel into a feral state, making them a liability at best, and a terrifying threat at worst. In the early days, feral Sentinels busting through gates and walls with already turning Guides in their arms, before turning themselves in the middle of the commune was the number one cause of whole communities dying.</p><p>Not that Sentinel and Guide zombies were any different than regular ones – as near as anyone could tell, the virus killed the part that gave them their powers as part of the process, and everyone who had an inkling of how devastating a zombified active Sentinel would be prayed that never changed.</p><p>The matched pairs had to adapt, finding ways for Guides to stay back in the compound while still helping their Sentinels with zone outs in the field. It was different for each pair, how they worked it, but once found it made their teams far more effective.</p><p>Ey had seen it all at Mullins, in runner training – bandannas holding a Guide’s scent, recorded loop heartbeats, anything at all in an effort to help. Some of it worked, and it was reformed over time by each set, and once past that initial hurdle? Sentinels went back to being terrifying out in the field.</p><p>This didn’t stop Mullins trying to get unbonded Sentinels to work on their own without a Guide, but even as ey left, all those experiments were still failing – some so badly they sent the Sentinel into a fugue so deep only a higher level Guide could bring them out, something that was harder to ensure, as there weren’t many left.</p><p>This left unbonded Sentinels trying their best to work with unbonded Guides, while both looked for their own specific match in what little of humanity remained. It was a terrible, shitty situation, which turned their rather unique circumstances into ones that matched the rest of humanity.</p><p>All of this was on eir mind as ey ran for eir life because of a little niggling thought about eir own situation growing in the back of eir head.</p><p>Eir musings on the state of Sentinels and Guides was interrupted by the voice of the radio operator – <i>Sam</i>, ey reminded emselves, trying to ignore how soothing ey found his voice, as well as eir creeping suspicion…</p><p>“Okay, okay… Man that’s great, you’re making good time,” Sam said to em, sounding a little nervous, and ey did eir best to focus on that and ignore the creeping stench of the dead rotting, which seemed to worsen all of a sudden.</p><p>That suspicion was niggling at the back of eir mind, had been since the chopper had been shot down and a voice telling em to jump snapped em out of the beginning of eir gradually darkening vision, but ey pushed it from eir mind and kept moving.</p><p>After all, no one in eir family had ever come active as a Guide or a Sentinel, so ey couldn’t possibly be. Besides, activating now, after all ey’d been through? And on eir way to a small outcropping of humanity struggling to survive, with no reported Guides or Sentinels? It made no sense at all.</p><p>Ey wrinkled eir nose at the lingering stench of decay and dust in the hospital, and continued shoving medicine and other medical supplies in the large pack ey’d managed to find, though ey had had to dump papers and notebooks out of it first.</p><p>A box caught eir eye, marked CDC, and ey smiled. <i>A perfect ticket in.</i></p><p><i>And to him</i>, a voice whispered in the back of eir mind, though ey forcefully shoved it down.</p><p>Ey grabbed it and, pack full, started heading out, only to feel eir heart drop in dread as ey heard the doctor and Sam discuss the large pack of zombies headed towards em.</p><p>And then it dropped further as, under the radios on eir headset, ey could hear the moans. That was all the motivation ey needed to hightail it out of there.</p><p>Ey heard the pain in Sam’s voice as he mentioned the old Runner Five, now zombified, and felt a pang of hurt, sorrow, and rage. Ey had the overwhelming urge to turn and tackle the zom, but shook eir head and kept running. The sorrow mounted as the radio operator’s voice broke, and ey felt a few tears track down eir face. Ey gritted eir teeth and pushed all the weirdness out of eir head so ey could focus on running, though eir muscles burned and a searing pain was building in eir lungs.</p><p>Five put on a burst of speed, running for the gates as ey saw them raising and people coming out to kill eir chasers.</p><p>Ey shot through the gates and slowed to a stop, clutching the box and panting heavily. It was a matter of minutes until ey were swarmed, and ey shrank in on emselves, head beginning to pound as everyone asked em questions and made comments, the sound confusing and overlapping until it became a nearly overwhelming wall of noise.</p><p>Ey squeezed eir eyes shut and lifted a head to press against eir throbbing head, curling over a little.</p><p>Then - “Hey! Good to see you in the flesh… the totally-unbroken, skin-not-bitten-by-zombies flesh, right? Step back, step back everyone, don’t -”</p><p>Eir head snapped up as the headache receded as Sam approached in proximity, shoving his way through the swarm of people around em.</p><p>As their eyes met, all eir senses bloomed open, only to focus completely onto the man in front of em, a new awareness and strength settling into eir bones.</p><p>Eir mouth opened against eir will, only one word exiting.</p><p>“Guide.”</p><p>Ey felt someone quickly pat down eir skin, then take eir pack and the box from em.</p><p>Sam’s mouth trembled and broke into a smile as he stepped up to em, and he reached forward to rest a hand against eir bare forearm.</p><p>“My Sentinel.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. (Mis)Understand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Five and Sam bond, but that doesn't fix everything.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I thought about it and, honestly, I kinda wanna keep this rated at T, at least as much as I can.</p><p>If enough people are interested, I'll write the much more explicit version of the bonding (plus the reenactment when our duo get their shit together).</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Of course it wasn’t that simple – Five still needed a full on body check for bites and Abel didn’t have many buildings, let alone a bonding suite or much of anything Sentinel safe.</p><p>Five could already feel the fabric of eir clothes beginning to itch at eir skin, and shifted uncomfortably. Ey were also trying eir best not to pounce on Sam in front of everyone around them.</p><p>Sam, sensing eir unease, slid his hand down eir arm and grabbed eir hand before pulling em towards the hospital and the doctor ey had heard on the comms on eir way in.</p><p>“Maxine,” Sam called as they entered into the tent, “are you in here?”</p><p>“Back here, Sam,” Maxine called, and Five bit eir lip to stop from growling at the familiarity.</p><p>Sam pulled em back to where Maxine was, who watched them come around the flap of fabric and smiled. “Post run bite check for our new Runner Five, Maxine!”</p><p>She raised an eyebrow at their joined hands, and Five couldn’t help the growl this time, though ey flushed and dropped eir head on Sam’s shoulder at the other two’s startled looks.</p><p>“Please kill me now.”</p><p>Sam frowned at em. “Hey, now, I just found you, no dying just yet.”</p><p>Ey couldn’t help the smile, though ey refused to lift eir head. Ey idly scratched at eir side with eir untethered hand.</p><p>“What’s this, Sam?” Maxine looked between them, though she looked as if she had an idea.</p><p>“Five, here,” Sam said proudly, grinning at her, “is my Sentinel. Came online when we saw each other, they did.”</p><p>Five felt emselves blush brighter and shuffled a little in place, torn between hiding behind eir Guide and standing in front of him protectively, despite there not really being a need to.</p><p>“I’m surprised they didn’t drag you off somewhere to start bonding,” Maxine said, understanding filling her face. “Since they haven’t, perhaps we should get basic information from them and do a full check.”</p><p>Five mumbled, “Dropped my ID near the wreckage. Didn’t have time to grab it, there were a bunch of zoms.”</p><p>Ey fished out the dog tags Mullins had given em and held them out to the doc, instead, refusing to move farther from Sam than necessary. Maxine took them and looked at them, then urged Five over to a camp bed so she could check em for bites and take readings on eir general health.</p><p>“This doesn’t give me much information,” Maxine said gently. “What’s your first name? Your tags just have a first initial.”</p><p>Five shrugged, still holding onto Sam, who didn’t look too upset about it. “Five works for me.”</p><p>Maxine looked at em sharply, but ultimately let it go. “Anything else we need to know?”</p><p>Five didn’t look at either of them. “I’m agender, and use ey/eir/em pronouns and… I’m asexual.”</p><p>Maxine didn’t blink at that. “Thank you for letting me know, Five. I’ve gotten everything I really need right now from you, though I’ll want to do a more in depth check later, when the pair of you have settled more.”</p><p>Five nodded and smiled at her, letting go of Sam’s hand, and, despite the immediate urge to grab him again and the spike in eir senses, swung off the camp bed opposite and stood. “Who do I need to speak to about housing?”</p><p>Sam spoke up. “If I have to guess, they’re probably shuffling people around so that we can bunk together, though we still have to bond fully. I guess we’ll have to talk to Janine about that.”</p><p>Five nodded, waved goodbye to Maxine, and strode for the exit, trying to ignore eir way was beginning to spin from the extra sensory input.</p><p>“Five! Five, wait up!” Sam caught up with em as ey walked away from the tent, looking around and trying to find someone who looked to be in charge. “What are you doing? Your senses have to be going wild.”</p><p>Five looked at him. “I’m a little tired, Sam, that’s all.”</p><p>It wasn’t all of it, of course, but Five had felt emselves falling helplessly in love with Sam when their eyes met, and all ey could think about was the pain in his voice when Alice was shot.</p><p>The silence on eir confession was damning, as well.</p><p>Ey stepped closer and gently nudged him. “Where would we find Janine? From the way you two were talking, it sounds like she’s in charge, so she’d know what to do for a bonding suite. I’m… feeling the urge, honestly, and it’s getting harder and harder to ignore it.”</p><p>Sam flushed and began sputtering. Ey snorted at him and nudged him, grabbing his hand and heading for the large farmhouse towards the center of the compound, figuring someone could point em towards Janine or Runner Seven to figure out where ey could saturate eir senses on eir new bondmate, preferably before ey tackled him and just started there in the dirt.</p><p>Sam managed to reboot his brain and took the lead. It took them a bit to find Janine, and, though explaining the situation was a bit mortifying, she only stared for a few minutes before setting off to try and figure it out.</p><p>Ey gently tugged Sam over to the side of the farmhouse’s steps, and sighed as ey sat down and stretched eir sore legs out while ey waited on news. “This must be so inconvenient for you.”</p><p>Sam shrugged. “I came online sort of in the beginning – didn’t really get rated, but I got the basic training from a higher level Guide at one of the refugee camps, before it fell due to, you know, feral Sentinels. They found me, not too long after that, scrounging outside and trying not to get bitten. Been here ever since. It wasn’t long before they had me as radio operator for the runners – seems Guide voice actually comes across fairly well on comms. It means they had a reason to keep me here, so it all worked out, I guess.”</p><p>Five nodded. “As far as I’m aware, I’m the first in my family. Not really like I can ask, at this point, though – they’re in the States, and there’s no way to get word across the pond now.”</p><p>Janine came up to them at that point, looking put out. “Well, it’s not much, but we cleared out one of the rooms in the bunker. We don’t really have anywhere else to put you, so you’ll just have to deal with it. Come with me.”</p><p>Five stood and stretched, still holding Sam’s hand, before heading after Janine. The room, as she said, wasn’t much, but it had a small basin with some water for cleaning up – something Five was infinitely grateful for – and a bed with clean sheets.</p><p>Ey smiled at Janine. “It’s perfect, all things considered. Thank you.”</p><p>Janine flushed, and then eyed Five. “Mr. Yao has his own stash of clothes we can pull from, but we’ll have to see if we have some spare clothes that will fit you, considering yours were likely in the helo. Someone will be nearby to drop off some rations for you so you don’t starve, and when you’re done, bang on the door a couple times and we’ll drop off some clothes. Don’t destroy anything.”</p><p>Ignoring Sam, who was bright red and sputtering, Five solemnly promised, “We won’t, Janine.”</p><p>Ey then eyed Sam, still attempting to get out some sort of denial, and then casually picked him up, carrying him into the room and kicking it shut behind em.</p><p>Ey gently deposited Sam onto the bed, then began stripping out of the clothes ey’d been wearing and now desperately wanted to get out of.</p><p>Sam flushed bright red and covered his eyes. “Five! What are you doing!”</p><p>Ey paused and looked at him patiently. “Sam, we’re going to be living together. For the first couple of months, at least, we’ll likely be sleeping together. You’re going to see a lot of me, might as well adjust now. Besides, I smell like fire, gunpowder, rotting flesh, and death. I’d like to scrub up before we do anything else, unless you mind.”</p><p>Ey could see Sam attempting to peek between his fingers, though he kept closing his eyes, and ey waited patiently for his answer.</p><p>“No, no, you’re right, I’m sorry,” he mumbled eventually, and ey went back to eir sponge bath.</p><p>Once done, ey pounced on Sam, causing him to yelp, and the bonding process began.</p><p>~~~~~ZR~~~~~ZR~~~~~</p><p>Five hummed gently as ey woke up, several days later. Ey inhaled deeply, enjoying the scent of em and eir Guide mixed together, but ey knew today ey’d have to head back into Abel – the pair was fully bonded, and Abel needed Sam back.</p><p>Ey untangled emselves from Sam – he clung like an octopus in his sleep, though he’d deny it once awake – and walked over and knocked on the door for the watcher on the other side, before going back to the little bit of food still left from the delivery last night and eating a little bit.</p><p>Ey left the rest for Sam and sponged down again, though ey weren’t really dirty. Ey glanced again at Sam and sighed, heart aching.</p><p><i>So it looks like it will be platonic, after all</i>, ey brooded, frowning to emselves, careful to keep eir unhappiness out of the bond. A quick probe revealed mostly quiet, as Sam was still asleep, but also a lingering sense of sadness, and a well tempered sense of happiness, and ey sighed.</p><p>“Sam,” ey called quietly, “Sam, you should wake up.”</p><p>He started awake and pouted at em. “What is it, Five? I was sleeping.”</p><p>Ey shrugged. “We’re bonded now, fully. We should clean up in here before getting ready to head out. You should have enough time for a quick bath before someone drops off clothes for us.”</p><p>Sam frowned. “D’you think we’re ready to head back out? Your senses aren’t fully stable yet, and we still need to work on our connection.”</p><p>Ey smiled wryly. “I don’t think we have much of a choice. We’re relatively stable, but you’re needed back on comms, and we need to be working on how I can run separated from you outside Abel. There aren’t a lot of extra supplies here, and we’re draining what little there is.”</p><p>Sam flopped back down and sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right, Five. Did you leave me any food?”</p><p>Ey obligingly held up the can and passed it to him. He ate quickly, then sponged down, just in time as a knock on the door revealed their clean clothes were there.</p><p>Five listened at the door, careful not to overdo it and, when ey couldn’t hear anyone, ey pulled the door open and grabbed the two neat piles of clothing.</p><p>The pair dressed quickly and quietly, gathered up their used cans and dirty clothes, and headed out into the early morning sun.</p><p>Maxine was waiting for them. “To the hospital, then.”</p><p>Five shrugged. “Fine with me, so long as we can drop off the dirty clothes at least first.”</p><p>Maxine agreed to that, and they left the dirty clothes in Sam’s tent – now empty on one side, cleared for Five – and dropped off the cans at the recycling area before heading back to the hospital.</p><p>Sam was quickly declared to be healthy, and he hovered while Maxine detailed the battery of tests up for Five, some requiring Sam on hand in case of zoning.</p><p>Five agreed to all of it quietly, then asked Maxine, “Can we do all the tests that might need Sam first? I can hear someone – Janine, I think – waiting for him outside the tent.”</p><p>Sam tried to protest, but Five looked at him, frowning slightly, and he sighed. “Oh, alright, but if you need me, Five, I don’t really care what Janine wants.”</p><p>The tests involving Sam took a good portion of the morning, and then he was sent off, protesting slightly, while Maxine subjected Five to what health tests she could do in the tent.</p><p>“You seem a little distracted, Five,” she said while testing Five’s joint flexibility.</p><p>Five looked away. “Just… Sam liked Alice, didn’t he?”</p><p>Maxine finished the test then sighed. “Yes, he did. She was a latent Sentinel, unactivated of course, and, though they didn’t say anything, it wasn’t hard to tell both she and Sam hoped she would activate on her runs and find herself a match for him. When she didn’t come back, it hit Sam hard. He stayed on comms with her as she turned.”</p><p>Five bit eir lip. “That explains a lot. But… he didn’t say anything when I said I was ace, and he wants to keep the bond platonic. I don’t think I want that. I… don’t know what to do.”</p><p>Maxine smiled sadly at em. “The best thing to do right now is nothing, I’m afraid. He’s still grieving her loss. Right now he needs your support, and there’s nothing to say that the situation won’t change down the line.”</p><p>Five gave her a thin grin, and offered up the next limb for testing.</p>
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